Time to explore?
Hey humans!
So this is what’s up. I’m… starting a new chapter I guess? I’ll fill you in on the back story. Back in March 2020 I was kinda into this guy. We’ll call him… Justin. After much flirtation, we kinda hooked up. Depending on your definition. He came over to my place and I gave him a blow job. It was a victory in my books. I was hoping more would soon happen, and he was too, but then like 3 days later lockdown commenced. Worst.
As lockdown continued, my crush started to fade. As did my libido. I usually have a very healthy sexual appetite. By the end of the summer, I was practically asexual. Not much interest. Nothing.
And then I saw him.
Justin’s a musician and one of his bands was streaming a gig. I tuned in, and immediately the attraction was back 100%
So this was in… November??? Not cool, self. Not cool. I thought my crush was gone, and here it was. Back, just as strong as ever. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Anyways. Restrictions continued, and the crush faded again. We’re friends, so we text sometimes. Usually about normal person things because of the whole almost asexual thing. It seemed like he was less interested too.
Over the last couple months I’ve decided to try to… reinvigorate myself by reading trashy romance novels. I read a few, but most of them were about young women who were inexperienced, and… not passive, not submissive… just not assertive. So I decided to see what I could find with women that I could actually relate to a little. Over 25 years old, not a virgin, more assertive. This led me to books about BDSM. It would appear that the only way a woman can be assertive in the romance novel world is if she’s a domme. So I’m not into whips and stuff, but I figured I’d give it a go, and I chose a book where the love interest was a man that didn’t really know what BDSM was. Hopefully it would be more tame because he was new. I was right, and it was on the tame side of BDSM. Sometimes slightly questionable ethics, but overall, good for what it was.
Things I learned from the BDSM novel:
- I am definitely into exhibitionism.
- I don’t like spineless guys.
- Not really interested in whips.
- Despite #2 and 3, I’m definitely a domme leaning person in the bedroom.
So in case you can’t tell, it worked and my libido is back! I texted Justin to try to gauge where his interest was, and it turns out that his libido is back too! He is definitely interested in some post-pandemic play! And guys, I’m really hoping that he’s a submissive leaning person. Not too sub. Just a little. Wish me luck!
